| NEW SITE!
Decoded_Smile
...check it out?
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| I've diecided. I've realized. I've discovered. That to be wonderful. To be amazing. I have to stop caring. Become cold. which is hard. I like blankets. But I am going to do it. Kind of getting over this cold. Kept my intake pretty low. mostly cracker and soda. Wearing clothes too big and drinking grape or orange soda, always makes me feel better. I knew she was young but 15... She just turned 15 too. I am going on 18. This cant be legal. eh, but I still love her...ha makes me feel like a perv. Even after I change me. Change me on the outside. I know I will be still be me on the inside. I know I will still break and shake at spilled milk. I am killing myself secretly. I rather like that idea. I let this take who I am...
I didn't want it to be.
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| I start shaking. Hyperventilating I wasn't made for this world. I am too weak. No one gets how I break down. over something as small as, this. After high school I'm leaving. I dont think I can do it anymore. I'm sick, I want to get sicker. it keeps me starving. Intake-
B-nothing
L-soup &some cracker- 200cals
D-TBA
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| I fall inlove with strangers. I want to be perfect for them more than anything. Its so sunny outside. Not really warm, just sunny. I want to smell like the sun more than I want To breathe. You have to believe food is wrong. Believe it isn't the same as breathing. Believe that who you have been is a lie. Intake- B-blank L-cheese stick and some fries [not much] S-4cookies[wtf] D-TBA went against the plan...
kill me now
right fucking now.
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| I'm really hungry. *edit* I am going to be great! So light. So high. I am going to float. I am going to something Amazing. I understand that listening to the Monster is, not appreciable. And I understand listening to the Beast, is also a bad idea. I will get this right. I will be perfect This week I am going to start the plan.
~>
I know I can do this.
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